The Atomic Wombat in Idaho

So which are you?

2012-02-01T21:42:00.000-08:00

Drugs...

2012-01-31T18:29:00.000-08:00

I have never used illegal drugs in my life. I've never taken one toke on somebody's joint. I've never taken acid or x or done poppers or any of it. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life and I've never even been drunk, though I do have an adult beverage on occasion I never go to excess. So while I'm too much of a control freak to ever really get out of control when it comes to drugs, this would help.

If I ever

ever

ever ever

think about doing drugs, especially meth

I will just

look at

this

Next project.... complete

2012-01-29T09:18:00.000-08:00

This is for my soon-to-be great niece when she is born in May. I will be sending it out this week. :) I think they will like it.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

2012-01-23T18:49:00.000-08:00

It's nearly over! I just finished volume 17 and in there the mangaka, Bisco Hatori, said that #18 would be the last one. I know that manga series can't continue forever but with TokyoPop now out of production and very few Shojo titles that I like, I feel helplessly, hopelessly stuck.

In case you haven't calculated the extent to which TokyoPop going out of business, here's what that means (at least until - I hope - another publisher picks up these titles).

No more:

Goodbye Ritsuka and Soubi.

No more:

Goodbye Chigusa-san and Rakan-kun.

If the series ever continues, then no more:

Goodbye Kazahaya and Rikuo.

No more:

Goodbye Misaki and Akihiko.

No more:

Goodbye Abel and Father Hugue.

No more reprints of:

There are many others that I will miss from the 354 titles that TokyoPop carried. Goodness I hope that some publisher picks them up.

Look at one of the things I made today

2012-01-16T18:55:00.000-08:00

I made three things today but this is by far the cutest.

Amazing Combination of Science, Art and Mathematics

2012-01-13T20:49:00.001-08:00

Yay! Fibonacci sequences!

Feer Meh!

2012-01-05T21:06:00.001-08:00

This made me LOL so hard it had to get reposted. :)

What is your love language?

2012-01-04T19:24:00.000-08:00

Okay I'm totally copying this from the book, "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. The book is rife with Christian references, but that doesn't make the central points any less. So here's what I want you to do.

1) Find your gender.
2) For the appropriate gender, choose the member of each paired statement that means more to you.
3) Tally up your numbers for A, B, C, D, and E.
4) Find out what your primary emphasis: highest score is primary love language. Pay attention to the top two.

Note: I am using the term "SO" for your significant other. I just don't want to type it over and over.

For Men:

1. My SO's love notes make me feel good. - A
     I love my SO's hugs. - E

2. I like to be along with my SO. - B
     I feel loved when my SO helps me do yard work. - D

3. Receiving special gifts from my SO makes me happy. - C
     I enjoy long trips with my SO. - B

4. I feel loved when my SO does my laundry. - D
     I like it when my SO touches me. - E

5. I feel loved when my SO puts their arm around me. - E
     I know my SO loves me because they surprise me with gifts. - C

6. I like going most anywhere with my SO. - B
     I like to hold my SO's hand. - E

7. I value the gifts my SO gives to me. - C
     I love to hear my SO say that they love me. - A

8. I like for my SO to sit close to me. - E
     My SO tells me I look good, and I like that. - A

9. Spending time with my SO makes me happy. - B
     Even the smallest gift from my SO is important to me. - C

10. I feel loved when my SO tells me that they are proud of me. - A
     When my SO cooks a meal for me, I know that they love me. - D

11. No matter what we do, I love doing things with my SO. - B
       Supportive comments from my SO make me feel good. - A

12. Little things my SO does for me mean more than the things my SO says. - D
     I love to hug my SO. - E

13. My SO's praise means a lot to me.  - A
      It means a lot to me that my SO gives me gifts that I really like. - C

14. Just being around my SO makes me feel good. - B
     I love it when my SO rubs my back. - E

15. My SO's reactions to my accomplishments are so encouraging. - A
     It means a lot to me when my SO helps with something I know they hate. - D

16. I never get tired of my SO's kisses. - E
     I love that my SO shows real interest in the things that I like to do. - B

17. I can count on my SO to help me with projects . - D
     I still get excited when opening a gift from my SO. - C

18. I love for my SO to compliment my appearance. - A
     I love that my SO listens to my ideas and doesn't rush to judge or criticize. - B

19. I can't help but touch my SO when they're close by. - E
     My SO sometimes runs errands for me, and I appreciate that. - D

20. My SO deserves an award for all the things they do to help me. - D
     I'm sometimes amazed at how thoughtful my SO's gifts to me are. - C

21. I love having my SO's undivided attention. - B
     Keeping the house clean is an important act of service. - D

22. I look forward to seeing what my SO gives me for my birthday. - C
     I never get tired of hearing my SO tell me that I am important to them. - A

23. My SO lets me know they love me by giving me gifts. - C
     My SO shows their love by helping me catch up on projects around the house. - D

24. My SO doesn't interrupt me when I'm talking, and I like that. - B
     I never get tired of receiving gifts from my SO. - C

25. My SO can tell when I'm tired, and they're good about asking how they can help. - D
     It doesn't matter where we go, I just like going places with my SO. - B

26. I love having sex with my SO. - E
     I love surprise gifts from my SO. - C

27. My SO's encouraging words give me confidence. - A
     I love to watch movies with my SO. - B

28. I couldn't ask for any better gifts than the ones my SO gives me. - C
     I just can't keep my hands off my SO. - E

29. It means a lot to me when my SO helps me despite having other things to do. - D
     It makes me feel really good when my SO tells me that they appreciate me. - A

30. I love hugging and kissing my SO after we've been apart for a while. - E
     I love hearing my SO tell me that they believe in me. - A

For Women:

1. My SO's love notes make me feel good. - A
    I love my SO's hugs. - E

2. I like to be along with my SO. - B
    I feel loved when my SO washes my car. - D

3. Receiving special gifts from my SO makes me happy. - C
    I enjoy long trips with my SO. - B

4. I feel loved when my SO helps with the laundry. - D
    I like it when my SO touches me. - E

5. I feel loved when my SO puts their arm around me. - E
    I know my SO loves me because they surprise me with gifts. - C

6. I like going most anywhere with my SO. - B
    I like to hold my SO's hand. - E

7. I value the gifts my SO gives to me. - C
    I love to hear my SO say that they love me. - A

8. I like for my SO to sit close to me. - E
    My SO tells me I look good, and I like that. - A

9. Spending time with my SO makes me happy. - B
    Even the smallest gift from my SO is important to me. - C

10. I feel loved when my SO tells me that they are proud of me. - A
      When my SO helps clean up after a meal, I know that they love me. - D

11. No matter what we do, I love doing things with my SO. - B
      Supportive comments from my SO make me feel good. - A

12. Little things my SO does for me mean more than the things my SO says. - D
      I love to hug my SO. - E

13. My SO's praise means a lot to me. - A
      It means a lot to me that my SO gives me gifts that I really like. - C

14. Just being around my SO makes me feel good. - B
      I love it when my SO gives me a massage. - E

15. My SO's reactions to my accomplishments are so encouraging. - A
      It means a lot to me when my SO helps with something I know they hate. - D

16. I never get tired of my SO's kisses. - E
      I love that my SO shows real interest in the things that I like to do. - B

17. I can count on my SO to help me with projects . - D
      I still get excited when opening a gift from my SO. - C

18. I love for my SO to compliment my appearance. - A
      I love that my SO listens to me and respects my ideas. - B

19. I can't help but touch my SO when they're close by. - E
      My SO sometimes runs errands for me, and I appreciate that. - D

20. My SO deserves an award for all the things they do to help me. - D
      I'm sometimes amazed at how thoughtful my SO's gifts to me are. - C

21. I love having my SO's undivided attention. - B
      I love that my SO helps clean the house. - D

22. I look forward to seeing what my SO gives me for my birthday. - C
      I never get tired of hearing my SO tell me that I am important to them. - A

23. My SO lets me know they love me by giving me gifts. - C
      My SO shows their love by helping me without my having to ask. - D

24. My SO doesn't interrupt me when I'm talking, and I like that. - B
      I never get tired of receiving gifts from my SO. - C

25. My SO is good about asking how they can help when I'm tired. - D
      It doesn't matter where we go, I just like going places with my SO. - B

26. I love cuddling with my SO. - E
      I love surprise gifts from my SO. - C

27. My SO's encouraging words give me confidence. - A
      I love to watch movies with my SO. - B

28. I couldn't ask for any better gifts than the ones my SO gives me. - C
      I love it that my SO can't keep their hands off of me. - E

29. It means a lot to me when my SO helps me despite being busy. - D
      It makes me feel really good when my SO tells me that they appreciate me. - A

30. I love hugging and kissing my SO after we've been apart for a while. - E
      I love hearing my SO tell me that they missed me. - A

A = Words of Affirmation
B = Quality Time
C = Receiving Gifts
D = Acts of Service
E - Physical Touch

Now what does this mean?

Knowing your partner's (and your own) love language will help to develop or regain a greater sese of communication, understanding and bring back (or maintain!) the romance in the long run.

If you're wondering...

My scores were:

Words of Affirmation - 6
Quality Time - 9
Receiving Gifts - 0
Acts of Service - 3
Physical Touch - 12

So in essence, I'd much rather spend quality time with my SO and have his undivided attention and still be in close enough range that we can touch all the time and reassure one another and reaffirm our love.

What's yours?

Anti-Christian haters

2012-01-03T17:24:00.000-08:00

Okay what I am posting below is a comment I made on another's blog and thought it worthy of putting here as well. The main point of her blog post was that there is a small but significant group of people of other belief systems: pagans, Wiccans, atheists, and others that react poorly to Christianity. Christianity being the dominant religious viewpoint in this country, tends to provide a seemingly uniform view. This is untrue of course but I think that non-Christians, especially the young who are trying to establish their religious identity or those who have had bad run-ins with Christians in the past, are Christian haters. My friend's blog post basically said that they need to grow up and gave her reasons for that. Here is my only slightly truncated response.

Agreed. I will say as a practicing solitary polytheistic animist... (see? that's why I just say pagan now when people ask) I have been in all aspects of this argument. More so because as you well know I also teach and teach primarily in predominantly Christian communities. For example where I live/teach right now is 70%+ Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints - a.k.a. Mormons. So as a supposed "pillar" or "exemplar," I have to be very cautious about spreading any information about my own beliefs. Several know but it is only through a sort of screening process that I choose who is going to be okay with my beliefs and who is not.

This issue is very similar to a friend of mine who is an English professor. He has to choose whether to come out as a gay man to each class based on an evaluation of that class' ability to "handle it" or not. His being gay is often relevant to the discussion so he feels pressure to do so but he also has had unfortunate incidents in which his being out has backfired with his students. I feel the same way as a pagan (short-hand).

I have never felt hatred toward Christians of any ilk. Even the hate-spewing and occasionally violently-inclined Christians who have attacked me in the past. I feel that some brands of Christianity encourage that sort of behavior more than others based on their route to salvation. In my experience, certain sects of Christians are sort of set up to fail. Because their salvation is dependent upon my actions as a potential convert. For anyone who has been on this path for any length of time, you know that fighting to even have your own beliefs in this society, when those beliefs are non-Christian, causes one to stick to them quite tenaciously if paganism, Wicca, whatever is what works for that person. So it is not bloody likely at this stage in the game that I'm ever going to say "you know what? you're right, I was wrong about everything that I spent the last 25 years on." Therefore, I don't convert, but I do listen politely as long as the person proselytizing is also being polite. Then I politely decline.

If you truly are a pagan, most adhere to something similar to the three-fold rule of Wicca. So whatever you do for good or for ill comes back to you three times. I live that in my daily life and I have no reason to lose the good things I have done in my life by being cruel or malicious to somebody that attacks me for my own beliefs. It is not my fault that they are stupidly acting out due to frustration, but it is my responsibility to govern my own responses to the situation. You can't fix stupid, but you can inform the ignorant. So if you want to put it in karmic terms, I don't wish to have bad karma by hating someone else for their own belief systems.

In my view, religion is a guide and a path to self-discovery. It can also be a balm for the mind or soul, depending on your point of view. So if someone believes in something that gives them strength and comfort and tries to make of them better people, I respect their right to choose that. Just as I always have hope that they will do the same for me. It is not always the case, but again I only govern my own reactions to it.

Today's wrap up

2012-01-01T21:38:00.000-08:00

So today started out productive (ish) and worked a bit more (ish) and then I had to go out to help P with his computers - and to be with him because I can't seem to get enough. When I got home, I didn't get back into the work so I suppose I'll be working (ish) for some of tomorrow. Ah well.

The news article of the day that I liked was that research from Wyoming has shown a positive relationship between the reintroduction of wolves 15 years ago and the resurgence of young trees such as willows, cottonwoods, and aspens in the area. They have positively affected the ecosystem by decreasing the incidence of overbrowsing by ungulates (primarily elk) that had prevented the growth of these trees to maturity. Aspen trees, in particular, seem to be benefitting from this reduction in their own predation. They had been on a steady decline over the prior 50 years but after the wolf reintroduction, and especially in the last 10 years, they have flourished.

And on a silly note, and because I've been thinking in videos, here is a bit of the silliness that made me laugh tonight.

Oh D.J. Flula, how you make me happy.

And before you ask, no I did not make any New Year's resolutions. I plan to take each day as it comes. I also plan to focus on the things that please me.

In a conversation with a friend on the phone I actually quoted Jane Austen (and it was relevant!). I said "People will always live forever when there is an annuity to be had." It is from Sense and Sensibility in one of my favorite scenes in which the nagging wife convinces her husband, through a series of arguments, to decrease the amount he plans to support his mother and 3 half-sisters from 1500 pounds to nothing. tee hee

New Songs (Or Remakes) that I Love

2011-12-31T11:47:00.000-08:00

These are all more of my quiet time types of songs but I really love them.

Enjoy:

I love the sound of Civil Twilight. I know it's similar to Muse, which I didn't like as much, so figure that one out.

I also love remakes of 80s songs that I loved but only if they are more sad for some reason. Such as Gary Jules' remake of Tears for Fears' "Mad World." I'm not posting that one because I think everyone's heard that one by now. But the new one to me that I have fallen for is this one:

Yeah, I know it's been out for 3 years, but you know sometimes I have a hard time keeping up with new releases as much as I work and as much as I don't listen to popular radio all that much. I think I'm doing well.

My lovey, Snufkin, would say "of course you like all of these, they're all in minor keys." And he's right, but that's okay. I'm comfortable with my listening habits.

On a sillier note, and also not new, but I wanted to post this one because it's so full of awesome. But it's at least not three years old. :)

Fan Girl Squeal!!!! The Hobbit Trailer is Out!!!!

2011-12-21T21:02:00.001-08:00

Down time and the crafting bug

2011-12-18T17:50:00.000-08:00

Our winter break officially started yesterday. While I'm still doing some work throughout the break, I can honestly say I'm crafting more. So yesterday I cut lots of patterns. I still have a few to cut and then lots to sew but it's the pattern cutting that always takes the most time.

I finished a blanket, as you can see here. I'm rather proud of it because it has a waterproof layer in between the layers you see. The white is terry cloth and the red and white is flannel. The flannel covers the entire back of it and there is a waterproof PUL layer between. It is rather heavy but if it is indeed truly waterproof it will be worth the trouble of washing it. Each side where the flannel wraps and locks the front of it is stitched four times - two straight stitches and two zig zags. It should last me a good long time. Size about 80 x 80 inches.

Now on to the other project I just got started. It's called the groovy ghan and the pattern can be found here. I'm modifying it a bit because I like larger throws. So instead of 7 colors I'm using 8. The square pictured is 8x8 inches. The colors oddly really work together. Many of the yarns in this project also have metallic sparklies in there (which don't show on the picture) so it's even brighter than pictured. This square took a little over an hour to make (mostly because of the constant color changing).

So tomorrow I have errands to do, my oil to get changed, calendars to mail for Mike and work on school stuff. I will finish cutting the patterns tomorrow and also stay stitch the sarong and start fringing it. Afterward I will spend one hour on Ana's blanket and do another square of the groovy ghan. Winter break is going to be VERY productive this year!

Nope - Drugs have Absolutely no effect on people in the long term.

2011-12-06T20:26:00.001-08:00

Right Iggy?

I don't know about you but...

2011-11-20T18:39:00.001-08:00

This scares the ever-living bejaysus out of me.

Don't ever EVER mess with the Marines

2011-11-16T10:47:00.001-08:00

That must be a huge "curb." So glad the police were smart enough to look the other way on this one.

Good morning!

2011-11-15T06:54:00.001-08:00

Glorious isn't it?

Most of the time I love living here.

See?

2011-11-13T19:40:00.001-08:00

Corgis do smile in their sleep. Sorry for the bad picture quality - something messed up with the flash.

Nerd Humor? Really?

2011-11-10T06:03:00.001-08:00

Do you ever have that dream where you're standing in sort of sun god robes on a temple and there's a thousand naked women below you screaming and throwing little pickles at you?

No.

Why am I the only one who has that dream?

First Attempt

2011-11-05T22:50:00.000-07:00

Robin had finally had it with her job. Her boss was a scheming misogynist. Her colleagues were less like colleagues and more like a pack of rabid 12 year olds that were jazzed up on Red Bull and a three day marathon session of nothing but the movie "Heathers." In short, Robin was finally fed up.

Once she had made the decision to quit, even before she had drafted her resignation letter, she felt tons lighter. It was as if there was a physical weight to the overload she carried from stress. She almost skipped down the hall when she turned in that blessed letter. She walked in very calmly and said "Tom, you need to read this." She held his gaze for what seemed like minutes without blinking. Then she straightened her posture and turned on her heel and walked to her miserable cubicle for the last time to pack her stuff.

She sauntered out to her car that evening at normal quitting time. Robin reflected that she hadn't ever really sauntered in her entire life. It felt kind of good, kind of groovy. With that thought in mind, she was humming Simon and Garfunkel's "Feeling Groovy" to herself as she placed her box of belongings into her car.

Jeremiah watched from the overhead rafters of the car park. He couldn't care less about the humming woman below him. No. The one he wanted was watching her and he was watching the watcher. He smirked to himself as he remembered the old "I know what you know that I know about you know what" sketches from the 70s sitcoms. Even though they were silly and trite, those shows were a sight better than all the reality shows on this decade's viewing rosters.

He shook himself mentally and rotated his shoulders a bit to loosen them. He was getting ready to strike the predator five stories below him.

Robin thought she heard something behind her. A whiff of air, the small rustle of fabric or something else that was much smaller than a whisper. This caused her to whip her entire body around and see the man behind her about to pounce.

"No!" she screamed in his face. Her basic self-defense teacher would be so proud. Despite how proud the man would be, her attacker only gave the briefest of starts at her shout and kept on coming. He leaped at her and his hands were poised to grab her body around her middle. In fact he was moving so fast he did not notice the sharp letter opener that Robin had had in her hand. He did notice it, however, as it was punching through his chest and into his heart.

He fell to one knee and the crazy woman came at him with her letter opener. His last sight on this earth was his potential victim raising the letter opener to plunge it down in his chest for the 7th time. The nothing but blankness was left in its place.

Robin felt nothing but shock and outrage and anger. She stopped herself from driving the now bent letter opener into her attacker for one reason only. And that reason was that she could no longer distinguish the man's flesh from a heap of tattered clothes.

A deep rumbling voice came from behind her, "well crap, I guess you'll have to do then." After that she felt nothing but the blankness of a dreamless sleep.

- To be continued -

Tori Amos said it best when...

2011-10-31T09:25:00.000-07:00

In my head I found you there
And running around and followin me
But I find that I have more
[sic] Than I ever thought I would

And maybe I'm the horizon you run to
When she has left you
And me alone here on the floor

Hey, do you know? Hey, do you know?
What this is doing to me?
Oh here, here, here in my head.

Atashi

2011-10-23T19:56:00.000-07:00

So for the anime con I went to - I worked on this all weekend - as I made up the pattern on the fly as I went, I think it turned out pretty good. Remember I had to do this one all by hand.

I didn't have the full body shot but the ears are quite long. If you're not sure who this character is... it's a character from "The Town with No People" on Chobits.

Thought that this is not only funny but revealing...

2011-10-19T11:38:00.000-07:00

This makes me happy

2011-10-18T18:15:00.001-07:00

Things I have to do for the long run...

2011-10-16T09:48:00.000-07:00

I have been very transparent about the fact that I will be moving out of the home I'm in now come June. In an effort to organize my thoughts and actions, I'm kind of thinking about long term lists of things to do in order to make the upcoming move smoother and simpler. So I thought I'd enumerate them here (perhaps I'll come back to this and add to it later).

Do a final whittling of the books and knickknacks - determine what stays and what is to be sold. Anyone want to help me sell some items on eBay? I'm not sure how to go about that.
Weed through clothes and shoes. I don't have lots, but I have enough that I need to eliminate everything that isn't super attractive on me. Definitely need a patient girlfriend on this task to help me out with it. I can't imagine there's too many guys that are willing to do that even with the bonus of lots of naked glimpses.
Get craft materials down to one tote that is mobile. That's going to be the toughest one I think.
Finish at least 75% of the UFOs, or PIGs, that I've got in process.

Other than furniture, I'd love to be able to fit all my mobile materials into my car in one go. So that is all my clothes, books, knickknacks and memorabilia that I choose to keep, videos, etc. I believe I should be able to do this handily once I'm done with the above list.

Note to self: start acquiring boxes so that I'll be able to pack the materials that can be done beforehand as I go.

I will also be working on getting all the old photos from mom's stuff taken care of and placed in acid-free scrapbooks. It's been hanging over my head for quite a while but I haven't done it. I really need to do it soon because when I tried to pull one of the old photos out of those albums, it almost shredded. I will be spending lots of time with spatulas and dental floss getting that done.

Too much to do! I'm almost overwhelmed and I have 8 months to do it all! Oh well - one day at a time.

Not mine - just funny!

2011-09-28T20:58:00.000-07:00

Okay need a moment

2011-09-09T06:36:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I worked 19.5 hours straight. It was nightmarish. I am up to over 65 hours this week and that includes the hours that I worked ON LABOR DAY. I am at work now just regaining my balance and figuring out the needs of the day to get done.

So of course, while my brain is on overload, I distract it. I've got music playing from my favorite band, Dead Can Dance, and I had a lovely conversation this morning on the phone, and I started checking my facebook because I have not seen it for the past few days.

And this is what I find. One of my oldest friends, Rick, and his magical way with animals was on my feed. Rick always makes me smile and he's done so even more today when I needed it.

Thanks, Rick! You didn't even know you were brightening my day. :)

Look what I made

2011-09-01T12:44:00.000-07:00

Ain't it kawaii?

I gave it to my favorite safety guy yesterday. He said "oh this is so going in my truck!"

It made me happy.

Demeter's Daughter

2011-08-29T22:11:00.000-07:00

I was having a discussion tonight about music and it reminded me of a group of a capella singers that is no longer together. They were the Bawdy Balladeers and they were funny and bawdy and very talented. Two of them went on without Bliss to form the group Women of Whimsy and they were still good but I liked the original three as well.

One of the non-bawdy songs is actually my favorite. It is called "Demeter's Daughter." I think that at some point I will sing this in competition or as demonstration but I need to spin it a bit to make it fit my voice. But the lyrics are both classical in nature and good in general, for the most part. Judge for yourself (and if you ask nicely I may sing a bad version of it for you).

While picking flowers in the field
all in the springtime of the year,
I heard the sound of chariot wheels
and was afraid with nothing to fear.

And there he stood with his eyes like fire,
His face as dark as a night in hell,
And there he stood with his eyes like fire,
and said, "Fair Lady, I wish you well."

They say he forced me but that's not so --
Of my free will I followed him down
to his dark place beneath the hill,
to his dark palace below the ground.

And there he loved me and I loved him
though all the world there was icy dark
We never noticed the light was dim
for the bright flame inside our hearts.

They say above us the world grew cold,
the leaves and flowers began to die.
The fruit trees withered and grew old,
and dark'ning clouds covered all the sky.

My mother searched hard and tried to find
a pathway leading down from the sun,
and long she travelled with troubled mind
until she walked where we once had run.

I still remember the dreadful hour
she stood before us and bade me leave
Her dress of sunlight, her face a flower,
his face behind me so full of grief.

We made a bargain and made it sure,
we made a contract and made it sound --
that I would stay with her for half the year,
the other half come below the ground.

It was so good at first to see the sky,
to walk in sunlight and hear the lark;
but not so good to have to say goodbye
to my love down there in the dark.

Oh yes, it's true then that life is good,
and I've learned the lesson it can teach:
that you can never have all you want,
and you never want what's within reach.

The sweetest flower that ever bloomed
grows far deep inside a bush of thorns
And happiness then is like the rose,
for without pain nothing good is born.

To know the daylight you must know dark,
to know the flowers you must know weeds;
you cannot meet again unless you part,
or eat a pomegranate without seeds.

Oh yes, it's true then that life is good,
and I've learned the lesson it can teach:
that you can never have all you want,
and you never want what's within reach.

Of course, because I was talking to a SCAdian, I got introduced to a filk song called "Scotland Depraved" tonight as well. It is sung to "Scotland the Brave." Below you will find a video for a version of that song. It's pretty cute.

But if I have my druthers, I prefer hot pipers and drummers in kilts. Like the Rogues!

Cling Film

2011-08-23T22:00:00.000-07:00

I was chasing something today for so long and so difficultly that I felt like it was never going to happen. I was clinging to it like film but still it eluded me. I began to wonder if I was ever to find my way again. I eventually did, but it got me to thinking.

Perhaps people reach for things just beyond their grasps. It is a commonality to the human condition, and I get that, but I wonder if we reach too far. Perhaps I've not gotten to a correct state of oneness with the universe. If I were then I wouldn't be going after what I don't have. What is it the Buddhists say? You can not truly have something unless you are willing to lose it - or something very similar.

This is why, by the way, nobody ever loses cheap sunglasses from the Dollar Store. Perfectly willing to lose it and never do.

I disagree

2011-08-11T12:14:00.000-07:00

I don't have a problem with the thoughts behind a lot of Steinem's objections to the new show mentioned in this article. However there is a quote that I severely disagree with.

At the bottom of the article, Steinem says:

"It normalizes a passive dominant idea of gender. So it normalizes prostitution and male dominance..."

This is just stupid. Male dominance as a gender role is a normal state of affairs for people. It is NOT however related to prostitution. I really wish that people would stop extrapolating to ridiculous proportions.

Harry Potter Squeal!

2011-08-10T07:20:00.000-07:00

Okay so a friend of mine who is a very talented artist decided to draw me in the Harry Potter meme that had been going around.

The questions are:
1) What house are you in?
2) What is your patronus?
3) What is your favorite subject?
4) What is the least favorite subject?

So I am going to show you the one without the text and the one with the text.

I have no problem schilling for another person, so please check out StarDragon77 on Deviant Art.

Last Thursday in Pictures

2011-08-10T07:12:00.000-07:00

It took me a bit of time to get some breathing space to put these pictures up here. I drove out to help a friend out in Mackay and had to drive through the desert to get there (about 85 miles one way). There were a lot of thunderheds and a vicious lightning storms that kicked off a few wildfires in the area.

The road out there in the Arco desert was empty and the rains were moving in. About 2:45 p.m.

Nice rainfall off in the distance - oh look no people - go figure.

The road toward the INL - I was trying to get the mountain ridge at the end of the road, but the far ridge didn't show up like it did for my eyes. All you can see is a vague hump of the closer ridge.

Distant view of Big Southern Butte with rainfall on one side. Big Southern Butte is an extinct volcano that last went up over 300,000 years ago. It is mostly made of rhyolite and obsidian.

Closer view of Big Southern Butte. I don't drive over there - the highway goes around it.

But you can see why the buttes are the reason for naming the county. There are three domes in that section that dominate the valley - all rhyolitic in nature. This is one of the twins on the other side of the highway.

Closer to Mackay there are different ridges and valleys - it can get a bit narrow there but as you can see there are more trees here than in the desert valleys that I passed through before that. The reason I like this one is if you look carefully, you will see that the dome in the middle of the ridge has completely vertical layers - it is evidence of previous violent upshifts in the crust in this area. If you're interested in this stuff - this is related to the Principle of Original Horizontality.

On the way back - the skies got clearer and the clouds got prettier. Oooh cumulus...

Here is one of the twin buttes on the way back. Skies cleared out somewhat in under 3 and a half hours.

But as I drove toward Idaho Falls, I was driving back into the weather systems and more and more lightning was hitting. There was a gorgeous one where 8 different forks hopped up from the ground to the clouds at the same time! But look at the cloud formations - so cool - it looks like the gods are staring down at us from above.

And I tried really hard to get a shot of the rainbow popping out from under the clouds there. Look carefully.

And on the final leg of my journey that day - I passed by Hells Half Acre. So I took a picture of the sign. I have to say that as I got out of the car and squished through the muddy clay to take this picture, the scent of the wet sagebrush was so amazingly invigorating. There really is no way of describing it. You can't really smell it unless it's wet or on fire so that was very cool.

I think that hands say a lot about where a person has been in life. What do mine say?

Sleep that elusive creature...

2011-08-02T23:20:00.000-07:00

So can't sleep at all. Started to do the fall asleep while chatting thing and then I woke the heck back up. So many things on my mind that they're all whirling about. Phooey.

I feel conflicted, hopeful, excited, aroused, sensual, intrigued, down, then up again. It's like a polarity roller coaster but I'm not bipolar so these are definitely not high highs or low lows. But they are not the nice dial-tone-like feelings that are typical for me in a resting state. This is most likely why I can't sleep.

I don't generally reference people directly as this is not that type of blog. More often than not it's oblique if present at all. But here goes... you know who you are, and you also know that the connection we have is deeper than I've felt in ages and I really would like to work toward something with you as long as your heart is in it and free to be mine. If it is not to be, then I'd like to know so that I don't get my heart broken as deeply as it could have been.

And the next person... you know who you are as well and I will continue to enjoy your company in our geek outs and superhero movie watching and trivia gaming and such as much as I can for as long as you'll let me. You've become a great friend and I enjoy all of our moments together in all their myriad forms. Even when it's 100 degrees outside. There is still the list to tackle after all.

okay that about sums it up... Oh and the voting so far has the little black and white loli dress in the lead. Still have a few votes to tally before final decision making is done. Hopefully I will at least approach cute levels.

By the way, my son has discovered an aptitude for repetitive manual labor. Perhaps he will be uncomplaining if he lands in a "fall back" job when he can't find one in his field. He was also told today by one of the zookeepers that he wasn't actually a teenager. Mostly because he does the things assigned in a timely, efficient manner. I explained to him that yes, he's still a teenager, it's my awesome parenting skills that have turned out a kid that can be relied upon in a work situation.

Decisions about Costuming

2011-08-02T18:14:00.000-07:00

Okay so I want to get into a costume and I think I have found a few that I like. So now I need help deciding!

Here are the five main contenders:

So now's your chance to vote... let me know which you pick for me to wear. :D

I may not be perfect but...

2011-07-23T15:17:00.000-07:00

Parts of me are pretty damn great.

For your nightmare viewing pleasure

2011-07-23T06:41:00.000-07:00

I give you deep sea hydrothermal vent worms.

What's funny is that if you didn't know better, you'd think this was from Hollywood.

The Birds, Chicken, and Mac n' Cheese

2011-07-22T05:33:00.000-07:00

Alright... I have friend who remembers all sorts of dreams and so I tried really hard to remember mine last night. I had two dreams last night.

One involved maximum security prison. In it, people we're being kept by a man who was planning to start a war within the US. He was using prisoners as target practice for his guards to improve their aim in live weapons practice.

He was also planning to fling gas-filled tanker trucks at hospitals on the coast to fulfill his goals. The odd thing was that my acquaintance, Nathan, kept calling me while I was either in lineup to be shot or while I was escaping so that I could fix his electronic equipment over the phone.

The other dream involved Jack Black and two other people who I got the impression they were all childhood friends. In that one, they find some old sheet music and then start to. live and act like rock stars. This dream had "Mr. Tambourine Man" and songs by the Who as a soundtrack. It closed with the three of them eating fried chicken with mac n' cheese suck to it.

I think my cholesterol levels woke me up out of sheer self-preservation

shiny new toy

2011-07-21T18:25:00.000-07:00

Okay while I have said that I may be ADD I don't really believe it.

I think that I am truly a romantic at heart and I do want and believe the best of people. I hope that I can provide happiness for the people in my life as well.

Yes, there are aspects of the "shiny new toy" syndrome, there are also "ooh wow this connection is deeper than I thought or anticipated." Hmmm... I'm not hopeful per se but I am seriously interested in seeing where all this is going to end up. Could be good, could be in the crapper. But it should be an interesting ride. :)

The Fridge and Dust Bunnies

2011-07-19T22:19:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel sometimes like you are the stuff the cat shoves underneath your fridge? All his little keepsakes or prisoners or trophies or whatever and there you are under there with the dust bunnies...

Planning planning planning

2011-05-31T06:16:00.000-07:00

So I have difficulty with the fact that I have a job that requires me to plan where I'll be every day for the next year. On the other hand, it's oddly comforting. It took me more than 6 total hours to factor in travel days and testing locations, but I did it. There's already a few problems for the Burley and Twin area but I'm working those out but otherwise I think it's sustainable.

Then I worked on chemistry lectures for several hours and that was fun... not but I am getting ahead.

So while I was out... at the office... on a holiday... this is what my kids did:

The Snake River is very high right now and it is flooding major areas of this valley. This is part of the greenbelt in Idaho Falls and the bench, as you can see, is starting to be covered by water. Well I suppose it stands to reason. Some of the mountain towns we have around here got more than 600 inches of snow this season. Heck, Yellowstone is still fighting to clear some of the roads because they have over 22 feet - not inches, feet! - of snow pack still sitting on the roads, with 30 foot drifts on the sides. Oh and we've been having (by Idaho high desert standards) daily or every other day deluges and there is standing water everywhere, either from the flooding or the rain or both.

On the upside, the baby duckies and baby goosies love it. They're bobbing around like fuzzy yellow-brown tub toys.

Slug

2011-05-29T06:47:00.000-07:00

I feel like a complete and total loser right now. I've sort of recovered from my surgery - though still not clear on the stamina part. No the loser part is the fact that I have not started going back to the gym yet. Sometimes I defeat myself by looking at the total amount of time I've been away. I need to fix that.

I think that I will be going to the gym today and I'm going to try for most days before I leave for Seattle. I'm also going to try to set those habits firmly over the summer by going 3-5 days per week. Not sure about the "set a habit in 30 days" bit but I'm hoping that I can start back down the right path.

At least I'm not expecting any other major disabling medical issues in the near future (knock on any piece of wood that gets near me).

Thought I'd put it out to the webiverse

2011-05-25T16:53:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to feel good enough to start writing again. Fanfic one shots tend to get my juices flowing so I need some suggestions - all types are welcome .... please stick with anime/manga suggestions though. :)

Okay I know I'm a complete and total geek

2011-05-23T06:03:00.000-07:00

I really do get that. But I revel in it and take sheer joy in the things that allow me to geek to my fullest potential. Such as this:

Welcome to the new Batman arch-villain.... Bane! They did an impressively twisted job on the musculature makeup and/or CGI on his back. Can't wait for the new movie to come out - even though they just started filming.

Not sure why blogger went down for several days...

2011-05-16T05:58:00.001-07:00

I really did try to update. I did! Don't look at me like that!

Very bad awful day

2011-05-11T20:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was extremely awful, I lost my patience and lost my temper. I have apologized and told on myself to my bosses - and even got congratulated by one of them for now appearing "human" and no longer as a robot. I'm not going into details here but I felt pretty bloody depressed yesterday about it.

Today was better and I got to spend some time with some of my favorite students who just cheer me up anytime I see them. Both girls are bright, funny, and just entertaining. They make me smile. :)

And here's how my morning started

2011-05-10T07:20:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the video quality but the one that is better refused to allow embedding. :)

Shoulda known better

2011-05-05T18:12:00.000-07:00

I am at the point now where I'm paring down and simplifying the life that I lead. The simple part that I'm aiming for still seems complex and harried by most people's standards but it is better by mine.

However, I should have known better than to try to 30 day blog during testing hell. I'm still in testing hell but I can see the end of the tunnel from here. So I'm going to consider myself nearing the finish line. So that experiment lost out.

A few major decisions have been reached lately:

1) I'm really at the end of my rope with my living situation but it's started to ease back a bit. I think I may just make it through this. That being said, my mindset is entirely based on how much personal (ahem) physical contact I'm getting - so as long as I maintain a relatively steady level of happy endorphins, things should be fine in the other aspects of my life. When faced with chemical alternatives, I take the natural route every time.

2) I will be schooling my son, who will be a junior next year, at home via the school I work for. I'm doing this for a variety of reasons but some of them are: I believe truly in what my school stands for and am willing to put in the effort. This will help me understand some of the navigational hazards that sometimes pop up for our families in a first-person setting. I know that I will damn sure do a better job than what he's getting. Although it is good, it's not excellent and I want to raise the bar for him. He's asked me to do this for him. And he will qualify, in senior year, to take college courses as a high school student with reimbursement available for tuition. You really can't beat that last one with a stick.

3) I need to be better at critical reading of literature. I'm working on it and I'll probably end up going about it in a pedestrian manner, but at least I am attempting it. That is probably more than 98% of non-English majors in the country. So I'll count it as a win.

I was talking to an old friend today online. We were chatting about this and that and I told him about my lack of success in the dating world. I told him that I figure this is attributable to one of two things. Either I am horribly disfigured somewhere where I am unable to see it or or my brains scare people off. Neither one of these things (if indeed I have both) would be something that I would change. If I tried to play dumb, it would only work but for so long before I slipped and the real mind emerged. If I was horribly disfigured, then what could be done other than something horribly uncomfortable involving leeches and a blow torch? So no, I'm not going to change it. But it is disheartening sometimes.

Is there not a man somewhere that REALLY WANTS A SMART WOMAN? Not just sort of smart, but really smart. I mean seriously, gentlemen, have faith in yourselves. Tuck those testicles in and actually pony up some guts. You don't have to be in charge all the time... though I promise to let you be in charge of me sometimes (insert wink emoticon of your choice here).

I am truly happy when I'm not the smartest person in the room. I really am. I am also realist enough to know that it doesn't happen very often. I'm okay with that. I don't lord it over people, so please, guys in the cyberverse who don't read this blog but some sort of resonant gestalt may be set up as a result of this: stop being intimidated and get in the game. I'm interested in you, I will probably stay interested in you. Try it, you may like it.

That is all, citizens. Go about your lives as normal.

No Guilt

2011-04-25T20:26:00.000-07:00

Well I didn't make it a daily post for 30 days but I'm still going and it's better than it has been so there. Yesterday, was a beautiful, sunny, almost warm day. Today was gray and cloudy but it was still pretty good. Got lots done and there've been lots of different jobs to do and I got them all done. It was good. For the most part.

I had some frustrations, but those too will pass. One of my bosses tells me that I should just have the "five more weeks" mantra going in my head. I personally prefer to have the R-rated version of the serenity prayer going on. It helps me smile and carry on regardless of what people say.

I am looking forward to a couple of things... 1) payday Friday, I'm beyond broke right now; 2) camping in mid-May in Arches National Park; and 3) several fun things in the June arena.

I had a good day on Saturday... but a busy one. I worked with the hawks again. Now I've got to make some longer jesses for the rough legged hawk by Wednesday. Multiple meetings tomorrow that I have to do. But it's all good. Oh and I finished my blanket that I've been working on - it's soft and pretty and warm.

And a partridge in a pear tree

2011-04-19T17:56:00.000-07:00

Days 7 and 8

Oooo Kay

Yesterday I traveled out to Salmon in order to do ISATs and IRIs with folks out there. The drive to Salmon is tricky at the best of times - including the murder-suicide attempt that the mule deer doe tried to pull on me last September. I still don't have a skid plate under my car by the way. When I have to be there in the early a.m. it is even trickier because that's when all the critters are out and near the roads. So here's the laundry list of what I saw on or near the road that had the potential for either killing me or damaging my car.

90+ mule deer (only saw 3 on the way home during the daylight hours of 12-4)
50+ pronghorn
35 or so elk - including one I like to call DERP. She was so concerned with looking at me that she ran into a low fence and kind of went "oh oops" and hopped over it.
about 20 bighorn sheep
2 large geese
a suicidal jackrabbit
and a random sheep on the road.

I kept sending "stay over there" thoughts to them and it seemed to have worked.

So here are some pictures of the area I was driving through:

Grand View Canyon

Lots of pics of this beautiful valley between Challis and Mackay.

On my way home today, I went back through Arco and my friend, C, complained that I didn't stop by on the way up when I couldn't. So I went by her house but not before I got this picture of the mountain by Arco. It shows a great example of the Principle of Original Horizontality in geologic uniformity theory.

So while I was there at C's house, there was this great horned owl male in her tree. This is the best shot I could get of him with my cell camera but I couldn't get him to look down at me when I snapped it. Sorry.

There were lots of dessicated half mice around the base of the trees there.

Days 4 and 5

2011-04-17T22:10:00.000-07:00

I couldn't really blog day 4 by itself because I didn't get in from Day 4 until 1 a.m. on Day 5. So nyah this is a combo post.

There are random bruises on my wrists. It looks like I've been having way more fun than I have (if only). But sadly I haven't. And the real down side to this is that I can just run around joking people saying "well it's because my wrists were bound for too long this weekend." Those who are okay with it already know it's not true and those who aren't will just get scared. Still don't know why they're there - they just are.

It was kind of a movie weekend this weekend. I got housework and needlework done this weekend and watched some movies while I did it. I saw "Eat Pray Love" and "Hot Tub Time Machine" and "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World." Of those only the first one was an experience that I'd repeat. Though I have to say I was sitting there crying like a little girl during parts that weren't even particularly sad. The poignancy got to me.

I mean seriously, how can someone this HOT and TALENTED not only do a piece of crap like that hot tub movie but produce it?

I'm getting so close to finishing sewing all the squares together on this mystery afghan. Then it's only a bit of edging to do and it's done! D-O-N-E Done! Woo hoo! I will post a picture on this blog when it's done though the colors are dark so not sure how much detail will show on it. We shall see I suppose.

Let's see I found out that kissing women, really kissing them, is sooo different from doing so with men. They don't really pucker or purse their lips at all, which lends firmness. Instead it is more passive(ish). Their lips are a lot softer, more open. Chalk that up to maraschino cherries. Long story.

Today's agenda also involved lots of laundry and cleaning the entire entertainment center, which was dusty. I know that I'm the only one who does dust it and I don't do it very often - which makes me a bad housekeeper. But damn. Went through three microfiber cloths on it. It looks dang good though now. I also got to spend some time in the hot springs with my friend K. That was fun.

So overall rating of the weekend:
productivity - 5
motivation - 3
abundance of cookies - 10
happiness - 7

Day 3

2011-04-15T19:19:00.000-07:00

I have lots of stuff to do tomorrow but I did get lots done today.

I've started focusing on the concepts of life, certainty and purity. There's only one of these things that is possible. The rest are not possible in their entirety. It makes me wonder why people strive toward those things when they are by their very essences impossible.

In another example of the fact that multitasking leads to craziness, I was working on several things and almost got everything done but I got distracted as well with researching the benefit of coffee grounds in the garden. All because I saw some for grabs in Starbucks. Perhaps I need to focus a bit more.

Ah well. I'm a bit on the anxious side of things and I'm uneasy and restless. I'm not quite sure why but I can make a few guesses.

I have a short list of things that I plan to put into my new dwelling when that time comes:
- my bed
- my guest bed (old iron one)
- both chests
- both desks
- rocking chair - need to get that refurbished
- dog crate for Rose
- stand mixer
- cuisinart
- various baking supplies
- my framed pictures, books, and personal DVDs

Pretty much all the rest is stuff bought during the marriage and I have no interest in bringing that along.

Here's what I plan to acquire:
- new pots and pans
- new silverware
- new dishes
- replacement spices (yay Penzey's!)
- futon couch
- new dressers and night stands
- new dining table and chairs - IKEA?
- TV and DVD player? (this is certainly not required but would be nice down the road)

Hmm - while this list sounds like a lot, it's still fairly minimal by modern standards.

Day 2

2011-04-14T19:44:00.000-07:00

I found out today that a woman I respect a great deal has tendered her resignation. I'm both happy and sad about this. I'm happy because I know that she will be under considerably less stress. I'm sad because I'm selfish and I simply don't want to lose the company of someone I enjoy.

I've also been in deep discussions with my boss about timing the training this summer. I think I can hook it onto my trip to Seattle. If I can that will be more than ideal. However, it looks like almost my entire June is floating away from me. That's okay in a way because it should be fun for the vast majority of it but I'm going to hit July very poor and very very tired.

Still quite excited about it - and as an added bonus - I just got contracted for two paying massages on Saturday! So it was an up day, mostly. :) I think I'll go play some Age of Empires III, put away clean laundry and read a Jim Butcher short story before bed.

Let's see how long this particular resolution lasts.

2011-04-13T20:01:00.000-07:00

Okey dokey - I'm going to try to blog every day for 30 days. We'll see how this goes.

Caught up with M for the first time in like ever. 20 years goes by and it's still like we've been talking all this time. We've had some chats over IM on FB but it's not the same as speaking to a person. It makes me wonder why it took me so long to reconnect with one of my most important friends from my childhood. Sigh. It's also interesting the ways in which we have diverged and converged in our interests, activities, and personal lives.

Here's what I've learned so far:

- as far as I know he's never been married
- he's spent time in Scotland, Japan and Saudi Arabia
- he smoked for 15 years and then gave it up (phew!)
- his mom died in 2007
- he did Rocky Horror live like I did but for one year longer
- he finds that as he gets older he's liking country music more - ew
- fiscally conservative, politically libertarian
- we share some of the same interests in other arenas but on opposite sides of the coin

I must say I've really enjoyed talking to him. I hope that we don't fall back out of touch and would like to strive to prevent that. I even have vague hopes of seeing him in person in the next year or two. That would be great fun. :)

And all this whilst driving through a freaking blizzard IN THE MIDDLE OF APRIL! In fact it looked a lot like this picture I found on google.

This was a long row to hoe

2011-03-19T07:33:00.000-07:00

Wow this recovery took it all out of me... maybe it's a conspiracy. I had lots of complications, most of which were completely disgusting, so I'm not going to share them in this venue I think. Irregardless, I'm now over the hump and working toward actually getting better.

I'm looking forward to getting to Virginia. I think I'm going to be exhausted after I get back as there are lots and lots of folks vying for my time while I'm there. But that's all to the good.

I'm hopeful on other fronts as well, but it's very much a slow and steady wins the race thing for me right now.

Looking over this it looks like code. Sorry. :)

Post surgical wrap up

2011-02-21T16:40:00.000-08:00

On a completely separate note, my birth mother, Pam, died Sunday before last (February 13). We were estranged for quite a long while. I didn't trust her with my children, her instability had shown itself over and over again and I no longer wanted her exposed to a fresh crop of potential victims. However, she was my birth mother and she will be missed just for whom she was.

Last Wednesday, I had a total abdominal hysterectomy. It was suspected that I had adenomyosis and as of today's biopsy report, that was confirmed. I was able to retain all other organs and, thankfully, there are no signs of cancer for which I am grateful.

However, I'm not having a fantastically quick recovery. I wish that I was in the bounce back with a snap category of people and I don't know if it's age playing a factor or not. I could be that I have just never had a 10-12 inch incision across the muscles in my abdomen slowing me down. Regardless, it hurts, and the incision line is especially painful on the left side when I have to split my legs to maneuver onto or off of a bed for example.

On the upside, my guts have just now started working somewhat properly. I'm hoping that the bladder hyperactivity is merely a side-effect of the surgery and the recovery meds and that it will slow down. That's probably more information than you needed in your life. I am just looking forward to a full night's sleep sometime soon. Prior to the surgery, there were a LOT of stressors in my life preventing sleep and after it's the pain and hyperactivity of the bladder. Someday soon, I hope to have a full 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Well a girl can hope anyway.

Odd, Strange, Not Quite Right.

2011-02-15T06:33:00.003-08:00

Went to the hot springs last night as my last chance to go for the next 6-8 weeks. I'm sitting in the hot water and suddenly four men in shorts, tennis shoes, and bow ties get into the water and start singing barbershop. Most surreal moment in years.

And we're back from that lovely commercial break

2011-02-12T22:15:00.000-08:00

You know I think I've become rather philosophical at my age. I don't mean that I'm some great sage of wisdom or anything, though some people who don't have a frame of reference of what really intelligent people are like may think so. I mean that I'm accepting of much and I move forward as best I can.

For example, a student I just saw last week while traveling in North Idaho, stops the lab class and says to me (in a surprisingly non-rude way) "why do you have to phrase things in the most uncomfortable way possible?"

I had to think about it. Why indeed?

Well a couple of theories, you - lonely reader - can tell me if I'm right or close on any of them.

1) As I was growing up, my parents (the adopted ones and therefore grandparents) were very closed off from sharing anything of import outside of the family. Once I remember getting yelled at for telling my friend on the phone that I was not feeling well. So expressing oneself in public has become a goal. I try to hold nothing back and just let the information fly.

2) I feel that complete honesty isn't always comfortable for the receiver or the sender. That being said, I'm never completely honest with my students. A few years back, one asked me to discuss the "pain relieving effects of THC." I told him that I wouldn't because the first thing he'd say, when caught by the authorities, was "well my professor said..." So I do try to be as honest as possible within the boundaries of moral and legal obligations.

3) I like creating sensations in others. Generally that is more subtle and/or gentle, such as rubbing someone's hands and arms if they're having a bad day, or being goofy to make people laugh. But sometimes shocking one's sensibilities is the only way to wake them up. And I like the looks on their faces if I truly do shock them.

4) We could go with some explanation like "science isn't about comfort, it's about knowing." But I think it's a bit too trite and/or easy, don't you?

What do you think?

I've decided what I want for my birthday

2011-01-17T18:14:00.000-08:00

This message is specific for Snufkin, but if there are others so musically inclined, by all means please feel free to hop on this one.

This is what I want:

I want your interpretation, on any instrument, either with vocal accompaniment (where applicable) or instrumentally, the following songs and placed on a CD and sent to me:

Requiem for a Tower
Every Time We Say Goodbye
Past Time with Good Company
Don't Fade Away
All of Me
Dulaman
Simple Gifts
Gaudete
Night and Day
Lateralus

That's it. :) I know it may never come to fruition, but I'm putting out my request to the universe in hopes that it will.

On a scale of 1 to classic

2011-01-08T15:46:00.001-08:00

I have no idea where this rates...

Bathroom in progress

2011-01-06T19:20:00.000-08:00

The bathroom remodel is entirely Mike's baby but I'm enjoying how nice it's starting to look. So here is the last 10 days bathroom wise.

We started out with a crumbling wall due to bad design and somebody who has no common sense putting a wood-framed window in the wall of a shower in 1978. Needless to say, water got in and mold grew rampant. So the first picture is the before (can't see the sunken wall because we painted over it quite a bit).

So no toilet yet but the last of the tiles on the floor are mortared and will be grouted tomorrow. Wall is going up nicely (don't have a picture yet but will soon). Toilet will be installed Saturday morning as soon as the tiles are safe to walk on. Rest of the backer board, insulation, and wall tiles are going up tomorrow and will be grouted probably Saturday. Final product will be on Sunday if all things are working well.

The side of the new tub has a pop out panel to get to the motor. We will pop that in once we have all pipes and fittings run through a final check. Pictures will be on their way once all is said and done. You may not be able to really see it but the tub is like 10-12 inches deeper than the previous tub. And it has bubble jets. Yay!

Ribbon on my Wrist and a Band-Aid on my Butt

2011-01-04T18:02:00.000-08:00

The folks at Bingham Memorial Hospital are nice and efficient. I give them many thumbs up. :)

Went in for very bad abdominal pain, they got me in, did my lab tests, didn't hook me to a lot of unnecessary machinery, got me into radiology and got answers back to me in less than 3 hours. I walked in and didn't even have to wait in the ER waiting area. Could be the time of day, but it was very nice and the people there were efficient and friendly.

I still don't know what was wrong with me. I've got follow up appointments and a heck of a lot of pain meds (which I'm going to be taking one here shortly) to make and take but my blood work and my ultrasound and my other tests came back healthy and normal.

[Maybe this was the Tower and I misinterpreted as an emotional upheaval rather than a physical one?]

Reading for January

2011-01-02T08:11:00.000-08:00

Query: Where is January going?

Reading:

1. Queen of Pentacles, reversed
2. The Tower
3. 4 of Cups, reversed
4. 4 of Swords, reversed
5. Heirophant, reversed
6. 2 of Pentacles, reversed
7. Ace of Wands
8. 2 of Wands, reversed
9. High Priestess
10. 10 of Wands

Um... wow??? This is interesting.

Starting with overlooking what you already have and concentrating on something that may or may not happen. Crossing that path is rapid upheaval and emotional turmoil.

My mind is beginning to move away from pain, betrayal and poor conditions and I'm trying to make sure that I keep an open mind (no foreshadowing there, huh?).

I am putting behind me those who had authority who tend to be pedantic and ill-intentioned (see that? anvil across back of head) but it's going to be tough to immediately find a new balance with this. The near future shows new endeavors starting and I hope that I am putting my efforts into something that will bear fruit. The people around me will provide a balanced view this month and should be heeded.

What is begun this month should bear fruit with hard work.

I'm, as always, open to second interpretations of my readings for those of you who do this. Feel free to let me know your views on this cast.

A Year in Music

2010-12-27T22:37:00.000-08:00

Okay, many of you who actually know me know that I listen to music a lot. A lot of genres, a lot of decades, a lot of musical schizophrenia. So in that theme, I thought I would go through my 2010 month by month and include a theme song from my iPOD to go with it. The other rule is that it has to have a video available for linking on YouTube. Each video is below to sample if you wish it.

January 2010 - "In Power We Trust the Love Advocated" by Chandeen

February 2010 - "Dunker" by Lumsk

March - "Get Down Tonight" by KC & The Sunshine Band

April 2010 - "Loca" by Shakira

May 2010 - "My Whole Family Thinks I'm Gay" by Bo Burnham

June 2010 - "Train in Vain" by The Clash

July 2010 - "Breath" by Breaking Benjamin

This one is especially important because of events at end of June/beginning of July.

August 2010 - "Doctorin the Tardis" by the Time Lords

September 2010 - "Uninvited" by Alanis Morrisette

October 2010 - "Buttercup" by Brad

November 2010 - "Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Buble'

December 2010 - "Cell Block Tango" by the cast of "Chicago"

Some of these songs seem a little out there but you need to go through the music itself and you'll find something that relates.

I plan on doing this next year along with a monthly wrap up of a few different things. That's the goal anyway.

I will be doing a pre-month reading as well.

I can't imagine that 2011 is going to be worse so it can only go up from here, right? I hope so. :)

No lunar eclipse for me

2010-12-22T14:57:00.000-08:00

The cloud cover was so bad here that I couldn't see the eclipse. That stinks. Friends in Pocatello said they saw some of it but the clouds blocked out the red wavelengths during totality and so they missed that part. Sigh. Too bad I can't wait around for another 370 years to see a total lunar eclipse on Winter Solstice.

It's these rare occasions I still wish I lived in Florida. They had beautiful views there.

On other notes, I'm getting discouraged and I think that the universe is conspiring against my meeting with A. I just may faint if it actually happens. But honestly, I think I may be getting tired of waiting. I've pulled myself off the market in order to pursue this with him but if it's not going to happen, it's not.

So how long is long enough during the waiting game?

I'll have to do a reading on the situation but seriously discouraged right now.

This makes me smile every time. :)

2010-12-20T20:50:00.001-08:00

Parts of Who I am...

2010-12-16T17:30:00.000-08:00

Inspired by a friend's humanities assignment, Snufkin and I decided to turn our thoughts inward. We decided to challenge ourselves and in one week we were to choose a movie or song, a book and a painting that represented how we saw ourselves.

So here's my side of the bargain.

The book: Persuasion by Jane Austen

The lovely thing about books is that people see different things in them as they relate to their own lives. The way I relate to Persuasion is by thinking about the relationships between the main characters. The main character, Anne, has given up almost her entire life for her family and friends. She has tried to remain the glue for her family and she has listened to the advice of her friends and family even to the point of going against her better judgement. She has given up her essential self and (for the time) has given up the prime years of her life. It is not until she makes the decision to come into her own and regain some of what she lost and goes after what she wants at least to some degree.

I feel that I'm finally at the point in my life where I am reaching the stage that Anne was at at the end of the book.

The song: "In My Life" by the Beatles

This song just simply resonates with me. I feel like I've moved through a lot of trials in my lifetime and I can look back and feel some welcome distance between myself and some of the events and some melancholy at the distance with others.

The painting: "Christina's World" by Andrew Wyeth

This woman is unable to reach what she wants or needs. This picture provides a sense of sadness every time I see it. There are many things I have reached for in my life that I never attained. Doesn't mean I'll stop reaching though.

Crisis...

2010-12-14T16:45:00.001-08:00

averted? maybe?

I'm confused but calmer now.

Either I'm bipolar or I'm paranoid

2010-12-14T15:51:00.000-08:00

I feel like my legs just got cut out from beneath me. I'm up and I'm down. I don't know what's real and what's not and what being said is true or not.

Perhaps it would be better if I retreated to my cave and walled myself in and welcomed the end.

a thought

2010-12-12T13:07:00.000-08:00

Let us become wood that has burnt in the fire until we are hollow.

I have not felt such fire before and I would like to burn under the cold, changeable moon. I give up my self to feel the warmth and burn entire.

Developments are Developing

2010-12-07T22:09:00.000-08:00

Okay scared now. I feel like a flipping teenager again. The distant meeting looks as if it has moved up. Things swirling around in my head, in no particular order, are what do I wear, what if he doesn't like me, what should I talk about, does it matter if I do or say X, Y or Z?

All of these questions and more can be yours for the low low price of borderline OCD.

Oh and my bumper stickers are no more. They've been so badly damaged that I had to remove them. It's the end of an era.

On the friends front, Karen is threatening me, Jerri is cussing up a storm and Laurie is squealing in the background. Kate is a mission all in and over herself. Where in the heck did I get all these girlfriends from? Teresa did a lovely reading for me, thank you! The meaning of all of it is still a bit unclear as it was in my own reading. However, I think that's mostly due to my confused state of mind rather than anything else.

What to do? What to do?

A - you are a beautiful person and seem very warmly inclined toward me. That scares me and I hope you'll slow your speedboat down to drift fishing speeds. Strength of feeling's never been a problem for me, but expressing it has been.

Goodbye

2010-12-06T17:30:00.000-08:00

My brother, Mark, died today. He was just 6 days shy of his birthday. He would have been 56.

Mark and I didn't get along and we certainly did not see eye-to-eye. He led a life that was rife with poor choices and it was partly through his example that I learned to be steady, resolute and goal-oriented. I also learned discipline by seeing what happens when one doesn't have any. Through all that, though, he remained my brother and I loved him.

For the last 5 years or so we had hardly spoken. Part of that was on my part and part was on his and part was other circumstances. He would attempt to reach out and I would respond and then, I guess, he would get distracted. I do not wish him pain and I hope for his sake that he is going to a better place.

Perhaps the wheel will turn for him and he will be reborn with new knowledge and new things to learn in his next life. I don't know what the answer is. I do know that he will be missed by those who loved him.

He was a joyful soul and he did bring happiness to many. May he live on as a light to those who held him dear in their hearts. Goodbye, my brother.

Guarded Heart

2010-12-05T22:09:00.000-08:00

I think that I guard my heart carefully but sometimes it might be too carefully. I'm always worried that I will give my heart too rapidly but it seems that I am actually more careful than I originally thought. I don't think that it's a bad thing. I am trying my best to be as honest as I can be. It makes me think that when my heart is given that it will be as forthright and deeply felt as possible.

In my previous marriage, I believed that there needn't be any romance in a relationship. I believed that an honest agreement between adults who knew what they were looking for was enough. I think that I was wrong now. However, I'm going to have to train myself to understand what a romantic is and thinks and feels.

Perhaps I have lost the ability to understand but I'll keep trying.

On other notes, I've been watching this anime, Black Butler. The ending credits of the second half of the first season has a really haunting song that I like a lot. So to that end, here is a video using that song. Enjoy. :)

Reflections in the Sun

2010-12-02T11:53:00.000-08:00

I'm looking out my window at giant icecicles reflecting the sunlight and dripping a little bit.

Drops can be seen inside the shards, building and moving like living things.

Beauty in everyday life reminds me of you.

Complete Waste of Time

2010-11-11T20:55:00.000-08:00

We had this big activity planned with my school. An activity that it took me 2 hours to even get to after I had already worked 9 hours on my regular stuff. I get there and I set up tables to the best of our abilities considering the general lack of any instruction or foresight or planning with details given to the lowly helpers like us. Then she has a flat tire not once, but three times on the same tire.

This tells me that:

1) when you run something like this with a bunch of Type A people, you had better darn well get the plans to us in plenty of time so that we can prepare ahead of time. All the little pieces parts (or templates for same) would help too so that we can run it without you. You should over-plan it so that a literate monkey could run it because things happen to folks despite all the plans to the contrary.

2) when you refuse to do the above, you should leave with LOTS and I mean LOTS AND LOTS of time ahead of when you're supposed to get there. It allows for snafus along the way, gives you time to train people to do what you want them to and to ensure that all your pieces and anything missing are taken care of.

3) Don't patronize Les Schwab. I'm just saying they "fixed" my tire 3 times before I made them replace it too. They just do bad business with big advertising.

Grr.

New Reading

2010-11-08T21:17:00.000-08:00

In an effort to make myself practice with my cards more, I'm taking a leaf from my friend, panidaho's, book (thanks sweetie!) and write down my most recent readings. So where better than here?

This one was a doozy by the way.

Query: Where's my life going in the next three months or so?

1. 3 of Wands Reversed
2. Knight of Cups
3. Queen of Pentacles Reversed
4. 2 of Swords, Reversed
5. 6 of Swords, Reversed
6. High Priestess (she showed up in an earlier reading for someone else too, the sneaky wench)
7. 7 of Swords Reversed
8. 10 of Swords
9. 9 of Swords Reversed
10. The Emperor

My interpretation:

Starting out in a state of limbo and beginning the end to waiting for a ship that ain't coming. Conflict is a need to take action in my emotional life but without real direction. The surface of my mind is paying attention to the bounty I have sown and is focused and subliminally the blinders are being lifted and judgement can be rendered with a clearer head than in recent memory.

Sadness and loss have set me on this path and trying to balance the light and darkness in my self will help me to avoid many future betrayals and pitfalls.

This situation makes me afraid of being used, tricked, and emotionally deadened and the folks in my environment are not helping me overcome that fear at this time in this situation. At the end of this time period, there will be resolution, but it may not be one that I will like if I follow the path that I'm on right now.

Clarifyer card: Queen of Wands

Interpretation: Be ready and unafraid of defending myself.

Am I the only one...

2010-10-10T11:43:00.000-07:00

Who thinks this is hot?

Pictures from the all-day cooking session...

2010-09-26T15:16:00.000-07:00

And away we go... so far everything was amazingly tasty. :)

Frozen Assets Lite & Easy: Cook for a Day Eat for a Month

2010-09-11T09:54:00.000-07:00

Okay here's the big experiment:

I'm going to attempt to cook from this book (see title). Let's see if they are what they claim they are doing. So tomorrow is the big day.

In addition to the main dishes, I plan to put away at least 7-10 loaves of peach and zucchini bread for the freezer. I also plan on making at least 4 dozen chocolate chip cookies. Just cuz I feel like it.

Here's the meals I'll be making tomorrow for all of next month (and a little beyond):

chicken fried rice
chicken tortellini soup
lemon mushroom chicken
chicken broccoli noodles
beef loaf
tortilla casserole
beef stew
dijon pork chops
sweet n sour pork
pork rice skillet bake
herbed pork chops
provencale pork
stuffed pork chops
Italian pasta bake
pasta e fagioli
bean casserole
black beans and rice
baked spaghetti
three cheese lasagna

I will attempt to take pictures of the process tomorrow while I'm doing this. Wish me luck!

Oh and today I'm making tapioca pudding in a rainbow of colors for a Firefly party. It's the best I could come up with for the line "We have the usual: protein in every color of the rainbow." ;)

Dr. Who-o Dr. Who, Dr. Who-o the Tardis

2010-08-29T22:20:00.000-07:00

Okay faithful readers, yeah I'm talking to the both of you. I've been wrapping myself in Netflix of late mostly to escape some of the stressors in my life. Those of you who know what's going on, then I don't need to explain. Those of you who stumbled on this blog well you don't need to know.

Okay so I really really have enjoyed the two seasons of Sanctuary. The ending of the second season is by far the most entertaining because it contains this scene. CLICK HERE. It makes me laugh every time. And of course I've blogged about Torchwood before. And then this happened.

Thanks to a certain someone who will remain nameless in Cheyenne, I started watching the new Dr. Who series. I started out with the Christopher Eccleston doctor.

I really like him too. He's not unattractive, but definitely not cute. But I loved his acting style as the Dr. I'm sad he only made it one season.

And then there's Tennant.

By far, the cutest of all the Dr.'s. His acting is way over the top, but somehow it works. I just finished the first three seasons and "Planet of the Dead." The end of season 2 was sad. I actually cried. Why oh why could he not say "it" in time? ARGH!!!!!

I liked Martha as she seemed in control of herself and very intelligent, but there wasn't the chemistry the Dr. had with Rose.

But the whole thing with Jack... oh... my... gawd! I can't believe how they explained how he ends up!!!! For those of you who don't want spoilers, see episode 14, season 3. For those of you who don't care, you probably stopped reading after the fourth sentence in this post. But for those of you who don't know, here's John Barrowman (Captain Jack) and David Tennant (the Doctor) kissing!

Okay I feel better now. :)

Memories of being a Floridian

2010-08-29T09:24:00.000-07:00

You know you're a Floridian if....

* You never use an umbrella because the rain will be over in five minutes.

* You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average

* “Down South” means Key West

* You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.

* You know the four seasons really are: Hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.

* Your winter coat is made of denim.

* You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.

* Anything under 70 degrees is chilly.

* You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.

* You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.

* You recognize Miami-Dade as ' Northern Cuba '

* You dread love bug season.

* You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas and New Years.

* You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley or Hurricane Frances. You know them as Andrew, Charley , Frances , Ivan, Jeanne & Wilma...Irene...Cheryl...Rita Mary... Alison

* You know what a snowbird is and when they'll leave.

* Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before.

* You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.

* You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

* A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

* You've hosted a hurricane party.

* You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Withlacoochee , Thonotosassa and Micanopy.

* You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.

* You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.

* A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.

This used to sooo be me. :) Brings back memories

Best father-daughter scene EVAH!

2010-08-08T22:22:00.000-07:00

Visit Wrap-Up

2010-06-20T07:12:00.000-07:00

Well this has been an interesting and slightly exhausting visit. We did pretty much everything on the list except visit the Balcony in Boise. I have rediscovered some of the great restaurants in the surrounding areas. I know that they are there but it's not until I explore them through someone else's palate that it reminds me to appreciate what we have here.

As for the scenery, it's been beautiful. The large amount of rain we've received has kept things so green and so lush, compared to what it looks like later in the summer. This is the view I took on Thursday at Craters of the Moon with my cell phone camera. I don't know why it took it this way but I like the oil painting effect. But even the lava fields are green!

Of course, I was kind of annoyed that my two guests were so glued to their phones that they wouldn't even look at the scenery. To be fair, one of them got better about it, but the other did not care at all - he either slept or played with his phone more than 90% of the trips we took. It teaches me that there is definitely a generation gap happening here (I think) and also that my patience has diminished over the years. Additionally, I'm no longer really identifying myself as an East coaster. I still self-identify as a Southerner but not an East coaster. The reason is that I don't mind the long drives anymore and these two clearly do. Even though I'd warn them that it was 10+ hours to Portland or 2.5 hours to Yellowstone, it didn't seem to sink in for them.

I've also discovered that I am no longer fit for having a roommate if I ever find myself in that situation again. I am way too set in my ways now. So if Mike ever leaves me, I clearly have to live alone because I may kill a roommate. Ah well, easier to clean up after just myself anyway.

Today is Father's Day and Mike is making his famous Belgian waffles. Woo hoo! I take the muffins down to Salt Lake starting out at noon. I'll be back by 6 p.m. so that will wrap up my day before I have to go to the zoo and start teaching camp in the morning.

The "Science and You at the Zoo" one day camp went well on Friday. I couldn't have made that work without the help of Quin and one of our new youth volunteers, Kelly. I was really glad I had them because some of those little ones made my eyelid twitch. I'm hoping that the worst offender of the bunch will not be there for next week's full week camp. Not that I don't want the zoo to make revenue, but I think that the other kids will benefit more if I don't have to spend so much of my energy reining that one kid in. We shall see. As of Friday, we had 14 signed up for next week's "Ecology College" camp so I'm going to have my hands full. The plans are all done and Kate assigned a set of helpers to start putting materials for the camp together so it looks like it will run smoothly.

Ecology College is the first camp that I've run pretty much myself from the planning stage on. I feel like it will run pretty smoothly. It took something like 60 total hours of work to get it fully planned out and materials created, but that way it is done and in a final form for anyone else who wants to run the camp in a couple of years if I am not available. I'm pretty pleased.

Next week will be a long set of days but I get my birthday off. As I've already gotten my birthday present (the Kindle), it will be a low key event. Then I'm back at the zoo for "A Beary Happy Birthday" event. I have to follow up with the Lions Club in Chubbuck and the Pocatello Rotary Club next week on the volunteers lists for the "Midsummer Night" event at the zoo on the 10th. Other than that, I'm pretty much tying up loose ends, working around the house, and having a girl's day out on 7/2. Really looking forward to that one. :)

Perhaps this will be the summer I refinish the dining room table...

Yesterday's Adventures in Yellowstone

2010-06-11T07:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was another long driving day for me. I've clocked somewhere around 14 hours driving in two days and that's a lot even for me. But it was worth it to see Stevland's and Nathan's happy little faces. So yesterday we went (with D and A in tow) to Yellowstone National Park.

It takes about 2.5 hours to get there and we did the northern loop. Here are some of the things we saw.

Bison of course.

But they were in this nice little valley for which I HAD to get a landscape shot.

or two:

So then we drove in the car on the way toward Mammoth. After we passed Madison, we had to stop at Beryl spring because there were cute little baby bison hanging out there.

The springs are really hot there. See how it boils?

And of course, I have the requirements of taking photos of lichens!

Then we got stuck on the road construction. The wait wasn't horrid but it gave us the opportunity to chit chat and I got a nice picture of bracket fungus across the street.

Then we went to the Artist's Paintpots. Which has the BEST SIGN EVAH! I so <3 the look on the mom's face.

And it's in multiple languages.

There's lots of geothermal features and mats of algae where the water is cool enough to support them. I love algae - so simple and so effective.

Really pretty little steamers.

You can see the water bubbling up at the bottom.

So then we climb up to the top observation deck just below the paint pots. And the view of the mountain across the valley was spectacular.

Then I had everyone pose for pictures.

And we did the final climb to see the jumping mud of the paint pots. I couldn't get a cooler picture of the mud, I was always about a quarter second too slow. So instead I picked the cutest of the mud pictures because it looks like a little guy hiding in there peeking out.

Ain't he cute?

And then I got distracted by the tiny little pine cones along the way to the parking lot. They were about 3/4 of an inch across.

We left the paint pots and headed up to the Mammoth Hot Springs area. First we hit the Canary Springs.

Canary springs has tons of interesting looking mineral deposits all around it.

Then you walk just a bit further and you see the top part of mammoth hot springs with a beautiful view.

I really love the part where the deposits have followed the path of the water down the side of the hill. It almost looks like glaciers except really really hot, often acidic, and delicately filigreed in parts.

And the whole structure is enormous - this is about halfway down the hill. Look at all the deposits!

Then, remembering what Mike told me when he lent me his precious camera about macro lenses being good for portraits, I tried it. This time, D did not want to participate so it's just

Stevland

Nathan

and A.

I thought they turned out well. P.S. I love Mike's camera.

On the way back to the car, I wanted to show some wildflowers so that I could prove that it didn't look all like barren wasteland.

On the way back around the loop, we did see a black bear somewhat up close - within 100 yards, but there was nowhere to pull off and take pictures. Dang it.

All in all it was a fun day and my hubby picked up pizzas from Papa Murphy's for dinner so I didn't have to cook. More updates to come. :)

Should I speak with the Yoda voice whilst delivering this speech?

2010-06-03T08:36:00.001-07:00

Graduation is typically a time where the wise and decrepit old folks give advice about life to the young folks who are starting out in life. Well I’ve got the decrepit and old part but I’m not so sure about my level of wisdom. Still, I’ll give it my best shot.

Getting to this very important point in life called graduation is a major milestone that you have worked toward for the past 13 years. All those years studying in math and science and English and social studies have given you the basis for life as an adult and not just gotten you to this one specific day. A lot of you have held down jobs, volunteered with service or church groups, and even helped to care for the elderly or the very young along your journey. I get it; it’s a long hard slog. But I think, on this day of all days, you’ll agree with me that it was worth it.

Graduation marks a tipping point where you change from a child to an adult. Don’t get me wrong you’ll always be your mom’s baby girl or boy. Just ask her. J Stop getting all mushy, moms and dads.

But you are still marking the point at which independence truly begins. You should be proud of yourself for getting here and you should be grateful to your parents for poking you in the butt with enough force and frequency to make you achieve the level to get you here.

Enough with looking backward, it is at this point we are turn our eyes to the future. Since the average high school graduate has an attention span only slightly longer than a lab rat’s, I’ll keep this short.

The question I’ve been asked more than any other by high school students over the years I’ve been teaching has been “what is adult life really like?” I’m here to tell you that real life is just high school with money. There will always be those who seem to be gifted with things that they didn’t earn. Similarly there will always be those who try very hard and don’t get rewarded as much as you think they deserve. There will still be cliques and social groups you don’t understand. All that really changes is that after high school is that there are bills to be paid.

There is a lot of reward in paying those dues, however. From this point forward you get to choose where you go and how you go about it. For goodness’ sake, please choose with a clear head and focused gaze. To help you do that, I’ve been collecting a list of a few of the things I’ve learned in my time to date. I suppose that this is the portion of the day where I pass on my own version of “wisdom” (and I use the term loosely and with great emphasis on the quote marks I’m making with my fingers).

Þ You’re all probably really familiar with the fable about the Tortoise and the Hare, though I must say that I like the Bugs Bunny/Daffy Duck version better.J The Tortoise keeps plodding along and the Hare runs ahead and gets bored so he takes a nap, letting the Tortoise win the race. I have found that when all else fails, working hard and steadily wins you far more praise and job security than being brilliant only once in a while. It’s about the only way to get close to being able to “recession-proof” your job.

Þ Never quit doing something just because you get emotionally upset over something. Think things through before jumping out of a situation. Emotions cloud everyone’s thoughts from time to time and they are important in their own way, but they should never be part of your decision-making process. Everyone except divorce lawyers like this piece of advice.

Þ Kindness and fairness are held in high regard for a very good reason. They’re both hard to truly do well. It is dang difficult to be kind and fair to someone who has not been the same to you. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still try. A person can forget and forgive the hurt you’ve caused him or her, until you are standing in front of them. Being kind and fair to everyone to the best of your abilities helps to prevent that from happening and just makes everyone feel better.

Þ Always notice the little things in life. I cannot think of one single job where the term “detail-oriented” is not a plus. If you ignore the little things, they pile up to become big things. An example I found on the web blog “Learn from My Fail” said, “When you see a small spider in your vehicle at the end of the week don’t ignore it. Over the weekend that spider might be busy making the biggest web you ever saw and giving birth to about 50 little baby spiders - in your vehicle -which you then have to drive to work.”

Þ Don’t start something you know is not good for you. Bad habits are remarkably hard to stop. Addictions are worse. Ask any smoker on their 437^th attempt to quit.

Þ The fastest way to failure is not to try. The second fastest way to failure is to choose the goals that seem easy to do. Remember what Yoda said. “Do or do not, there is no try.”

Þ Life is mostly a solo journey from this point forward. You’ll have lots of visitors along the way and some will stay for a long time. Most visitors are only briefly in your life and then they’re gone. Find the place where you are comfortable with yourself because that’s the only person who goes with you throughout your entire life. To quote the famous Ru Paul, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the [heck] you gonna love somebody else?” Can I get an amen?

Be well, be strong, be successful and welcome to the next stage of your journey. Congratulations class of 2010, you’ve made it!

Calmer now

2010-06-01T18:02:00.000-07:00

Sorry about that last post. I don't normally rant and rave nearly that much (although I do *grin*).

Let's look forward to June!

Good things that will be happening:

Graduation is June 5th! I still have to write the stupid speech and am avoiding it like the plague, but it'll all be over, work-wise, for a couple of weeks.

My chocolate muffin, Stevland, and his boyfriend, Nathan, are coming out to visit next week! I'm really looking forward to a whirlwind tour of the Pacific Northwest with them. I've got it mostly itinerized out (is that a word?) but they won't let me tell them what's doing because they want it to be a surprise. However, being the consummate gay men that they are, they also need to know IN GREAT DETAIL how to dress and what clothes to bring. How is a girl supposed to answer them without giving away the trip details?

So I'm going to write out my preliminary itinerary here (if you're reading Stevland, stop yourself before it's too late!).

6/9 - pick up in Salt Lake - walk around SLC, visit the temple grounds (cuz we gotta), see the outdoor mall, maybe go up the hill to the Univ. of Utah and go to the Natural History Museum? Not sure on that one. I'll get them around downtown and then I've GOT TO take them to the redneck wonderland: CABELAS! Just so they can get a beginning feel for the rednecks around them.

6/10 - Yellowstone Day. I'm probably going to take them around the Northern Loop unless they just HAVE to see Old Faithful. I think the Mammoth Springs, Paint Pots, and such are more interesting, but that's just me. There's no way to get the full set of loops done in one day.

6/11 - Hang out round Blackfoot and parts near here. Maybe go to the hot springs near Lava that evening or maybe just go stargazing - depends on the cloud cover. Of course, they have decided that they MUST go to the Potato Museum, so I guess I will humor them.

6/12 - Will be an early day of it. Taking them to Portland and dropping them off. Then I get to see my beloved Ethan in Seattle thereafter. According to Mapquest, it should take me about 10.5 hours to get to Portland from my house. I figure if I leave about 4 a.m. I should hit there about 3 p.m. I don't plan on stopping much, so hopefully they will not need too many bladder breaks. According to Mapquest it's only about another 3 hours to Seattle. I know there's going to be construction between the two locations, so I'm counting on 4 hours instead. I should hit Seattle no later than about 7:45 which is plenty of time to get settled and go out to eat.

6/13 - Hanging out in Seattle with Ethan and maybe Rick!

6/14 - Leave early and pick up the boys in Portland - probably about 10:30. The way I calculate it, there's only about 7 hours drive time between there and Boise. That will give us plenty of time to get settled in at Boise in the hotel (hello Hyatt Place!), get some food in us and rest.

6/15 - Toodle around Boise. I want to try to find that all condom store while there, because it's just cute. It's called the O!Zone. Tee hee. I also want to have them at least see the outside of the Egyptian Theater, just because it's such an important historical landmark.

Then that evening it's off to the Balcony for some Drag Bingo with her fabulousness, Minerva Jayne.

Then I'm going to drag (pun intended) our sorry butts back home.

6/17 - I think I'm taking the boys hiking around either Craters of the Moon

or Hell's Half Acre.

Of course the chance of breaking a leg or stepping on a rattlesnake are considerably less at Craters of the Moon.

Then there will be the loveliness of a Reed's Dairy Milkshake!

6/18 - I have to do a half-day camp at the zoo called "Science and You at the Zoo" so I'm either going to let the boys hang out at the house and recover or I'm going to take them down to Cherry Springs to walk around for a few hours or let them play at the Zoo itself. I'll leave that up to them.

6/19 - Jackson Hole day! Going to feed them at either the Bunnery in Jackson or at Miso Hungry in Driggs. The Bunnery is a proven win. If I go to Miso, I'm risking it. There's another little diner down in Driggs that's more family oriented and tends to have cowboy food and I could bring them there too. Anyway, they'll get to see the Elk Refuge (probably won't have elk in it this time of year), the town square and then get to window shop in all the little places in Jackson. Stevland is determined to get a cowboy hat, but we'll see.

6/20 - The fun-packed trip will be done. I'll have to take the boys back to Salt Lake. Perhaps we can do this again in another few years!

6/21 - 24 I'm running a day camp at the zoo called "Ecology College." I'm working on the plans for it tonight and tomorrow and then I should be done with them. It's a brand-new camp so I'm looking forward to it. :)

6/25 - My birthday - a day for all to celebrate, really.

After all of that, I get a couple more days off and then I have to go back and do some work at the office for a day on the 30th.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my June.

Pictures of the muffin's trip will be posted this month.

What's two balls minus one?

2010-05-16T19:19:00.000-07:00

Okay it's been a long strange week this week, but then again aren't they usually?

I spent 8 hours at the zoo yesterday being Kate. She deserved for me to be her because she was off visiting her only daughter in Missouri as she graduated high school. Way to go Olivia! So yeah, I'm at the zoo and working on some stuff here and there. But mostly I talked to the new ed intern, Dan. Dan and I are bonding I think. He is a lot more openly friendly with me and we had lots to gab about. Sometimes with animal folks, the personalities can be a bit off. Sometimes I feel like I'm about a quarter-step behind or in front of everyone else and we can't quite get the conversation to mesh. But not with Dan. :)

Yesterday, I scrubbed the concrete stall floors because they had bird crap all over them. Ended up soaking wet but fairly happy with a job well done. Didn't get to handle Athena or Ruffles as it was not my day on BOP. But I did get to play with both of them last Wednesday so it all works out. I love how the scientific name for the rough-legged hawk (Ruffles) means buzzard with bunny feet(toes). So now, if Ruffles ticks me off or does something funny, I'm just going to refer to her as "her highness Princess Bunny Toes!" ;)

Last evening I discovered a lump that was not there before below my sternum along the midline. The only thing there is really the xiphoid process but it's large enough to be noticed and there is pain upon palpation. I'm not sure what it is, but I have some guesses based on research:

1) Could be a calcification of the xiphoid (tends to happen to most between ages 35 and 40). The xiphoid is just happening to stick out. This is the most likely scenario.

2) Calcified xiphoids don't hurt as often as this one. It could be costochondritis with just a localized area of effect.

3) Finally it could be some type of sarcoma or other cancer. Palpation does not have a classic "feel" to it so it is probably not cancer. FYI the feeling would be like feeling cauliflower through saran wrap.

So I'm not sure but whatever else it is, it is annoying.

Today I got to go to the Fiber Arts Fair in Idaho Falls. I LOVE LOVE LOVE touching fiber! I didn't pick up anything but I sure loved feeling all the silks, bamboos, yak, camel and alpaca. I did pick up a merino/acrylic blend for a track stitch tunic in garnet. Should be fun. :) I hung out with Teresa for most of the day and had a good time.

My love to all. :)

P.S. The title comes from "New Math" by Bo Burnham. Two balls minus one = 6 Tour de France titles. I really really recommend watching this video - it will make your day.

Love these guys - perfectly synched!

2010-05-09T15:58:00.001-07:00

WTH is wrong with people?!?

2010-05-08T06:49:00.001-07:00

Exhibit A-ZZZ:

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Feelin' okay

2010-04-25T18:40:00.000-07:00

For the first time in a long time, I left the office on Friday feeling like I had really truly finished my to-do list. I didn't have that nagging feeling of "oh if only I had stayed 368billion more hours, I could have gotten it all done." That is a remarkably good feeling and I've missed it.

I've been running so far and so hard to keep my head above water that all the little administrative stuff had been getting away and just piling up, lurking, in a dark corner, waiting for me to turn my head and then BWAH! it jumps out and consumes my day. But not this week, boyo, I had it under control, even with all the traveling.

Speaking of traveling, I got to go by Borah Peak, which is the highest point in Idaho on my way to and fro on the Salmon trip. Ain't it purty, pa?

I know I just posted that one, but it was worth repeating. Last time I couldn't even see it for all the fog and clouds and snow. I also saw a bald eagle and a prairie falcon on the way back home too.

Also on my way home on Tuesday last, unbeknownst to me, I was passing a man who was famous for being unknown and alone. He died within 24 hours after that as remembered by this article. I passed by several shacks built into the mountain right on the Salmon river. This is a picture of Dugout Dick's place:

Rest in peace, Dick:

If you're interested in folks like him, there is a whole book about those people who wanted to disappear for all intents and purposes into the wilds of Idaho. Here's a link to the book. Enjoy. :)

More testing this week and then things really take off where I need a roadmap, a PDA, and a compass to find out where I'm going to be on a particular day. The light at the end of the tunnel (graduation) is in sight and then I can take a month off before starting all over again.

The Daily What

2010-04-24T20:17:00.000-07:00

Oooooh this looks like it's gonna be good. :)

Pretty pretty mountains

2010-04-22T12:45:00.000-07:00

Taken with my cell phone camera at 65 mph out my window. Not bad, eh?

This just makes me happy

2010-04-22T10:12:00.001-07:00

How 'bout you?

First Day of Spring Break

2010-04-05T17:30:00.000-07:00

Hola beeches!

Okay I know that I've been horribly remiss about posting of late. It's mostly because work has been eating my soul. Literally, I've made myself ill and been grinding my teeth down to nubs. I know this is mostly self-created stress due to my overabundance of anal-retentiveness. But it's my anal-retentiveness that has helped me to birth what will be a self-running class here pretty soon. Actually two self-running classes. By this time next year, all I will be working on will be Physical Science and Chemistry practice quizzes. No more lectures, evah!

So now I'm in spring break. Of course, I got sick as soon as break was about to begin. That goes without saying. But I've been home, not reading work e-mails, not doing work for the zoo and slowly but surely getting better from this nagging virus.

I've been watching a lot of Torchwood of late. And I must say, a guy like this:

who is that good-looking and bi? Wowwee. :) The stories are interesting and not as hokey as some of the original Doctor plots so overall thumbs up based on an almost-completed first season. Thank you, Netflix!

I've gotten a bit obsessive over a series of vampire novels suggested to me by my friend, Jerri. She hooked me on them even though I hide their covers whenever anyone looks. Sigh. What's next, bodice rippers? Perish the thought!

I've got a load of library books to go through while I'm out and my husband kindly rented the new Rabbids video game for me to play with during my time off.

So far, I'm over 15,500 feet so it's pretty addicting. That and one of the rabbids runs around in a red lacy thong just tickles me.

The new roof is now officially in progress and will be ongoing throughout my break week. Sure, some teachers go to Mexico or Hawaii or other parts exotic for their spring breaks, but not me. I get to be home supervising(?) people who are putting on a metal roof. Gotta give it to this work crew though. Some light rain and a little bit of hail kicked up and they just worked right through it.

On Wednesday, I get to finally get the same time off to go to A's award ceremony. She's looking a little peaky though so she may have caught what I'm getting over and may not make it. Oh and her teacher wants her tested for GT. She's tired of not being able to "challenge" her with trying to get the other kids in her class caught up to speed. She also doesn't want to explain to the other children what my daughter means when she says on career day that she wants to be an astrophysicist. I've even offered to let her read "A Brief History of Time" when she's older.

Well I'm back to Torchwood and reading. My friend, Jerri, is also getting induced tonight so we'll see how that goes and whether or not I need to go to the hospital tomorrow or Wednesday.

I'm just sayin...

2010-03-19T10:09:00.001-07:00

Work Exhaustion and Recovery

2010-02-19T19:52:00.000-08:00

Okay I know I'm a bad blogger and to the both of you who actually read what I write, my heartfelt apologies. Just let it be known that pretty much since the last post, I've been doing nothing but running back and forth, working under 4 too many masters, and trying to satisfy all parties.

I literally have needed days in which to recover, but by the time I'm slightly better, it starts all over again. I'm looking forward (really looking forward to March). There's no travel involved that month, there's no testing that I have to run, there's no major events that will be giant time sucks to eat my life whole. Because that's pretty much what's been happening for the last 6 weeks.

Okay enough whining.

A couple of good things have happened:

1) Athena did pretty darn well today on her first real outreach. And the saw-whets flew 7 feet each a couple of times in front of children outside of the zoo for the first time evah!

2) My husband has been extra nice to me of late: he got me roses on Valentine's day and he got me a kindle for my very early birthday! I know that part of why he's doing it now is that we have some extra cash in our accounts that we're saving for the roof replacement project in a couple of months and we'll be poor(ish) again come summer, but it's still cool.

3) I may be developing some more friends here. Two of the female keepers have expressed interest in going out and hanging outside of work time recently. I'm looking forward to it and that's another reason why I'm optimistic about March.

4) Much of the long hours of work I'm putting this year are gelling now into a sustainable measurable program that will require only tweaking from this point forward. I still have to concentrate on chemistry, but biology and earth science will be completely taken care of by September and will run themselves. I'm even ready for an anticipated standalone class in at least biology and think I can work on earth science too without a horrid amount of work. Physical science is another matter entirely but with limited curriculum, I think I can wing it - will still need to set up separate course modules for regular curriculum and SpEd/ELL curriculum.

5) Thank goodness for PCI! They have done wonderful things in learner support arena in science instruction. Glad Deb found it!

6) About 65% of my earth and bio classes have all of their labs turned in for the whole semester and they're ALL GRADED! :)

My kids are doing so well that for the first time ever I am not worrying about behavior, grades, or emotional development. I didn't realize that this would provide so much relief but it has. It doesn't mean that they don't screw up and do stupid stuff, they do, but it means that the frequency has been low and I would like to keep it that way.

Now I'm going to be off and play with my kindle.

Meh and Animeh

2010-01-10T17:12:00.000-08:00

I've had two very blah and blech days this weekend. Yesterday, I wasn't moving hardly at all. I just played games and was a completely useless lump. Today I got some stuff done but not nearly what I wanted to. Ah well. I did get to sleep in mostly until dawn so that was nice, especially this time of year.

I did speak with my darling chocolate muffin earlier. Apparently there is a new guy who's throat looked very lonely and therefore had to have a tongue applied down it. Muffin of course obliged. So he is giddy with new love. It's cute to be the flyspeck on that wall.

Been watching a lot of anime of late. There's a new series I've been watching - Moon Phase - it reminds me that Japanese anime artists are pervy even by my standards.

Case in point:

Almost all of her clothes are like this - extremely short skirts, with kitty ears. There are some other little girl characters, twins, named Hikaru and Kaoru, that look like they are about 10 who get jealously possessive over adult males. Odd though that Hikaru and Kaoru are the names of the twins in Ouran High School Host Club too. Is that a common thing in Japan or are the name choices related?

Not sure although the anime is decent - not fantastic - but decent. I will say that it is a different take on the vampire anime genre. Instead of blood thirsty, ravening monsters, they are good looking (not unusual) for the most part but only seem to need blood every full moon. They call it the "kiss" - no overtones there - heh.

Anyhow, I'm going to settle down for the evening. No grandiose notions, but if you're bored and you want to watch shoujo fluff, you may want to consider "Moon Phase."

Funniest Thing from Fail Blog Evah!

2009-12-30T18:03:00.001-08:00

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Falling in Love Again

2009-12-27T07:17:00.000-08:00

Okay so I have been working for a week straight on this chemistry review for an online school in our state. Granted they're paying me but oooh boy could I have lots better things to do with my vacation, let me tell you.

Anyway, so in order to make my time deeply delving into chemistry an enjoyable one, I've been listening to online streaming radio stations including pandora. This came up and I love the song anew every time I hear it.

It is the "New Orleans Bump" originally done by Jelly Roll Morton and his Jazzmen in 1929 and was recently redone by Wynton Marsalis in 2006. Listen to it and tell me it's not good.

The Laws of Attraction

2009-11-23T19:04:00.000-08:00

Okay I know that I am a serious nerd lover. I mean, seriously, I've dated guys who went on to design role playing game worlds for a living. Use this link and look at the guy with the blue (yes I said BLUE) hair. I have dated math pride award winners, valedictorians, English professors (though that was before we knew a few things),band geeks, and I married their king.

He works in radiation control and looks so uber sexy in his Anti-Cs. And boy, when he shaves his head - ooh yeah you know you want it too.

Okay so I like them tall, geeky, and generally darker of hair (when they have it). In my actor preferences, I still like them generally tall, geeky or quirky, and darker of hair. See the list below.

So can you explain to me why I like this guy?